Defeating Your Own Mind
by AliceWithKnives
Summary: Alice's Wonderland is taking over, leaving her mind shattered like the glass of a mirror. How can you defeat you enemy when your enemy is your own mind? R&R :D No Slash at All!
1. Prologue

_Alice: Defeating Your Own Mind_

_By AliceWithKnives_

_Disclaimer: I don't own American Mcgee's Alice (man…) but I wish I did! I want another sequel! _

**The story itself was 666 words…I found that fitting…**

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Her hands were stained in blood, mixing in with the already existing scars from previous torture at the insane asylum. All around her, madness and destruction demolished their way throughout London, leaving nothing but burning black ink in their wake. Shaking drastically, Alice touched her hands to her face as she leaned forward, not once uttering a single sound other than the faint huff of her breathing. Squeezing her eyes shut, Alice chanted over and over, "I wish to go to Wonderland…Please wonderland, save me…" Her eyes stung with the tears, but she did not stop to wipe away the salty liquid. Houses were being burnt to the ground, children were being lead into allies by perverted street thugs, and the once beautiful London Bridge had fallen to the flames and burning ink. Now, only a long stream of ashes was left, preventing anyone from leaving or coming in. Suddenly, London had become the asylum Alice hated with a fiery! Screams of the mentally insane echoed around her, and Alice wanted nothing more than to join in with them; however, she could not.

"Leave behind what pains you. Wonderland has not left…it has only been forgotten," The sinister Cheshire cat grinned wickedly as he voiced his opinion to the terrified girl. Alice quickly jumped to cover her ears, wanting to block out any tricks and riddles from entering her mind. She would not be able to help herself she would once again fall victim to the ghastly words.

"You can't block me out of your mind. You see, I am you…a part of you. No matter where you are, no matter what you do, my voice will always be in your head. Don't fight it! Embrace it, and then you can go to Wonderland." The offer was tempting, but Alice knew that there would be no turning back if she went down that road again. She already fixed Wonderland once from the sinister clutches of Dr. Bumby. Now, Alice wanted nothing to do with her overactive imagination and the world it had created.

"You can't ignore us! You killed the one who tried to force you to forget! Now you have to remember! You don't get a choice anymore! How many more lives do you have to sacrifice to once again face Wonderland? How many more people will you have to kill to be satisfied?"

"Stop!" Alice screamed, clawing at her ears and trying to block out the cat's deep voice. Already, her mind was retreating to Wonderland, trying to pull her in and let her forget about the real world. "Stop!" Again she cried, but it was not use. While her mind was falling to pieces, Wonderland was taking over. Her imagination had lost control and she was suffering now. "Stop!" People around her stopped, wondering what to do with the deranged lunatic screaming in the middle of the street. No one else was crying, and the London Bridge stood where it did before, but it was too late for Alice to realize the illusions her mind had played in order to lure her into its depths.

Finally, her mind broke like the glass of a mirror. Pieces spread out all throughout Wonderland, leaving her body hollow. There was no longer a soul to control it. The officials were called, and after an agonizingly long wait, Alice was once again transported to her hell hole: Rutledge Asylum. How will she escape now, when her mind was gone…spread throughout the depths of Wonderland?

"Such a sad ending for a beautiful story…One cannot conjure up these worlds without the proper way to control them. If they are left alone, they will run amuck, destroying everything one has ever known and loved. How can you defeat the evils that plague you…when it is your own mind that is your enemy? Can you truly defeat you own mind?" And with that, the Cheshire cat disappeared, leaving only his smile to haunt Alice until she awakens…if she awakens at all.

_Will Alice awaken from her Wonderland? Can she truly defeat her own mind? What would happen if her mind was put back together?_

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_**Wow! I felt like I hadn't written in forever, so I wrote this! It's 1am here, so sorry if it doesn't make sense. I may write a story about her collecting the pieces of her mind, but for now, this is what there is! Consider it a prologue! :D **_


	2. Chapter 1: Her Defense

Defeating Your Own Mind

Chapter One: Her Defense

By: AliceWithKnives

_Disclaimer: I don't own American McGee's Alice (man…) but I wish I did! I want another sequel!_

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"Did you hear about Dr. Bumby? The poor fellow…Story is he was pushed onto the train tracks and died instantly from being hit by the bloody thing. Bet he didn't expect to go that way…" Nan Sharpe mumbled to Alice as she picked up the young girl from the nearby market. Alice had walked there the day after she had defeated the Doll maker, which meant that she had to kill Angus Bumby in order to be completely free of the torture he had impacted on her Wonderland. However, Alice could not be seen as the heroine she was. Those around her whispered behind her back, sneaking suspicious glances in her direction every time the name Angus Bumby was mentioned. Every time a snide remark was made, Alice would retreat back into her mind. Suddenly, Wonderland had become an excuse to ignore the rude comments and disturbing glares. For any reason she could think of, Alice would hide in Wonderland. She loved her Wonderland. Even though it was still damaged from the Doll Maker's destruction and the Infernal Train, Alice found the pace wonderful. In Wonderland, Alice was the hero. When she looked at herself in the mirror in Wonderland, she saw a gorgeous young woman with sleek black hair, amazing red makeup, and a stunning blue dress with a white apron. In Wonderland, the scars that Alice bore in real life would vanish. Instead, the scars were like a distant nightmare that she didn't want to experience again.

"Who cares?" Alice remarked as she leaned on her hand, vaguely ignoring the scars on her wrist from the restraints at the asylum and her self-inflicted pain. Neither were fond memories, so Alice attempted to lock them away. She knew the consequence of forgetting them, and although she didn't welcome them, Alice knew that in order to stay strong and move on, she would have to remember.

Nan Sharpe gawked at Alice for a moment, stunned by the apathetic response to her inquiry. It was shocking and a bit out there to see Alice so unaffected by Dr. Bumby's death, since he was the person she relied on the most. "How can you speak like that? He took you in! He fed you and helped you leave that damned Rutledge Asylum!" Alice's mind had already begun to drift as Nan Sharpe argued with her, and once again she had fallen into the depths of Wonderland. It seemed that once a day, Alice would pass out and her mind would once again resort to protecting itself with Wonderland.

"Are you even listening? Wow!" Nan Sharpe gasped as Alice fell forward, her eyes closed shut, almost like she was dreaming (which was sort of true). Making sure to hold Alice comfortably, Nan Sharpe ordered her whip (the driver of the carriage) to take her back to the Mangled Mermaid. The ride was bumpy, but Alice did not awaken. In her mind, she was back at Hatter's Domain, finally consenting to have a tea party with the disturbed Mad Hatter. March Hare and Dormouse were there as well; however, they were not as broken and destructive as they normally were. Something seemed off…yet Alice didn't question the tranquility of the situation. That is…until the world began to crumble. Mad Hatter leaped to his feet, getting ready to save his teapot and cups from the falling ceiling. Once again, March Hare and Dormouse were crushed under the falling cement and glass, but Mad Hatter managed to make it out of there before he too was killed. Alice ran as fast a she could, leaping from the table to a nearby chair in order to avoid the mayhem around her and escape alive. How would she escape this Madness? A pipe was smashed in, causing dirty brown tea to flow into the sea of broken glass and cement. Alice screamed as a shard of glass shot out from the impact of the flow of tea, cutting her across her upper arm. Blood flowed from the room, before everything went black. The only this she could remember was the blood, before her mind had been pulled out of Wonderland.

_How will I Survive?_

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**If you have any questions or comments, please review. Review anyway :D It's kind of late here, so once again, sorry if this doesn't make sense or isn't very detailed.**


	3. Chapter 2: Two Choices

Defeating Your Own Mind

Chapter Two: Two Choices

By: AliceWithKnives

_Disclaimer: I don't own American Mcgee's Alice (man…) but I wish I did! I want another sequel!_

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Darkness was all around Alice, but she didn't feel the burning ink that was eating away at her skin. Her body was numb, and the neurotransmitters in her brain were preventing pain from passing through the axon due to the extreme pain that was assaulting the epidermis and digging its way to the dermis of her skin. Blood was soaking through her dress, staining the silky fabric and ruining the once beautiful dress. Her face had patches of skin missing, and her long black hair was shredded. Some of the hairs dropped down the front of her dress and stuck to the puddles of blood that were dripping into her bra. Far to her left, Alice's vorpal blade laid, glistening in the hellish muck that was engulfing it.

"I'm in hell..." Alice mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to tear her way through the ink. Woosh! Drip! A faint whisper of two distinct sounds echoed throughout the sickeningly thin darkness. Freezing, Alice's brain finally defrosted and the agonizing pain surged through every nerve of her body. From the direction of the sound, a white light pierced through the suddenly fragile darkness, engulfing Alice and causing the darkness to shred away until nothing was left. "Stop!" Alice hollered as the dark was stripped away. One final surge of terror and pain coursed from Alice's brain before everything stopped. All the pain was gone; all the wounds were healed (not even leaving a scar). Alice had been awoken.

From within the carriage, Nan Sharpe shook Alice aggressively, slapping her now and then in order to awaken her from her comatose-like sleep. "Stop!" Alice leapt forward, her hand outstretched, as though she were reaching for someone. In her mind, a faint shadow of a man stood, waving at her before he vanished, leaving but a memory in his wake. Alice's heart clenched in her chest as the stranger disappeared, soon to be replaced by Nan Sharpe's face as the nanny continued to shake the distressed young girl.

"Alice? Can you hear me, dear? Do you know where you are? Answer me!" Nan Sharpe shouted, still shaking Alice. Finally irritated, Alice slapped the large woman's hands away and sat up, placing her hand on the side rail of the carriage in order to prevent herself from falling over or slipping out. "I would answer you sooner if you weren't shaking me so bad and not giving me a chance to talk." Her head was pounding, but Alice tried her best to not insult the old woman, but it was hard as the lady went from being exceptionally worried to exceptionally apathetic.

"Well, you scared the daylights out of me, deary!" With a deep laugh, Nan Sharpe sat up straight as well, finally taking in the scenery. They were close to the Mangled Mermaid. Alice looked around as well, abhorring the disgusting stench of sex and drugs. Throughout the streets and side allies, shady prostitutes were standing alongside creepy perverts whom were throwing money at the middle-aged women. For every article of clothing removed (which wasn't a lot), the men would throw some Euros at them and then watch as the scantily clad women would dive for the money like hungry dogs. This was London, but Alice preferred it this way. It made her feel better about her way of life, even if it wasn't that great. At least she hadn't resorted to selling her backside like the sluts of the streets.

Bang! Shhhh! The carriage came to a halt in front of the back door of the Mangled Mermaid. As Nan Sharpe got out to pay the greedy whip, Alice jumped down and wandered towards the door, ignoring the mangled bodies that gave the place its name. Some of the men had most likely fallen asleep drunk and died of alcohol poison or from banging their heads too hard on the concrete. Many bodies of women laid thrown around. Most weren't even given the decency of being half-naked. Not one of the disheveled bodies had a dress on or even undergarments. Alice felt the sour taste of bile rise into her throat before she booked it through the backdoor and up the crooked stairs. From within her mind, the black-haired girl heard a faint chuckle from the Cheshire cat before his voice rang in her head:

"Escape to Wonderland. If you were there again, you wouldn't have to see such monstrosities." His conniving face was behind her eyes, tempting her to follow him; however, she quickly refused, trying to prevent her mind from experiencing the dreadful pain she had felt before. Alice gulped loudly before almost all of her energy escaped her, causing her to have to lean against the stained walls of the hall. In her head, she was fighting for control. On one end of the battle was all that haunted Wonderland, beckoning her closer and closer. On the other end, Alice was pulling with all her might, trying to stay awake in order to keep herself away.

"Alice!" Nan Sharpe shouted from below the floor, snapping Alice out of her imaginary battle. Gasping as the sudden flow of adrenaline rushed through her body, making her nauseous. Leaning over, the poor girl retched, but all that she could throw up was bile since she hasn't eaten for some time. As she sank to her knees, Alice could hear the heavy footsteps of Nan Sharpe, but before she could call for help, her mind was pulled from her body. She could see her body fall to the floor, her head landing dangerously close to the vomit. Squeezing her eyes shut, Alice lost her breath as she was pulled into the darkness once again. However, this time was different. Instead of entering Wonderland in order to use it as a defense against gossipers, Alice was swept across Wonderland until she had crash landed in the Queen of Heart's castle.

"Ah! So you have returned!" the Cheshire cat grinned menacingly with glee.

"Not because of my own free will!" Alice bellowed as she stood, dusting off her deep blue (no longer stained) dress.

"Oh but it is. You see, we are you. You created Wonderland, so if we beckon you here, your original, mind will not be able to refuse, because the part you had created, the part you relied on for so many long and deceitful years, will manage to bring you here anyway. Because, half of you wants to be here. Like two sides of a coin. There are only two choices you ever have. Go to Wonderland, or be broken trying to discard it. But when the time comes, choose swiftly, because you won't have the choice for long." and with that, the sinister feline vanished, leaving the young woman confused and lost within the Queen's domain.

_How will I get out alive and unbroken?_

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**This chapter is definitely longer than the others. I haven't slept in twenty hours, so I apologize if this does not make sense. Any comments or questions? Please review! Heck, Review anyway!**


	4. Chapter 3: Her Twisted and Damaged Mind

Defeating Your Own Mind

Chapter Three: Her Twisted and Damaged Mind

By: AliceWithKnives

_Disclaimer: I don't own American Mcgee's Alice (man…) but I wish I did! I want another sequel!_

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Cries of card guards echoed throughout the Queen of Heart's domain, startling creatures everywhere with the agony within the screams. Red-leaved trees trembled as the wind whipped around, trapping some leaves in its gust. Small chunks of dirt flew, along with dried blood and pieces of damaged card guards. Pieces of arms and bloody guts smacked constantly into trees, broken boulders, and the walls of the castle. Pieces of land were missing, leaving large valleys that only few could manage to cross. The faint sound of pig snouts came from underneath many of the platforms Alice would have to cross in order to enter the castle, but there was no reason to collect them now. Alice didn't need the bottles, the memories, the red paint, or any of the previous necessities she once had to collect in order to defeat the Doll maker.

"Damn..." Alice mumbled as she rubbed her sore bottom. Because of literally crash landing in the domain, her small butt suffered most of the impact. "Hopefully this pain isn't permanent...what am I saying? This is all in my head!" Frowning, Alice almost slapped herself for forgetting the difference between Wonderland (fantasy) and London (real life). Heaving a big sigh, Alice set forward on her journey, limping in order to lessen the pressure on her bottom.

"Who painted my flowers!" The angered bellow of the Queen swam out from within the castle walls. Alice trembled at the thought of encountering the wicked witch. Several card guards flew from the gates of the domain, shouting terrified cries and stumbling over thin, boney feet. Many were holding onto their heads, fearful of the Queen's vengeance.

"Go Executioner!" Alice's eyes widened as the massive beast tore from the walls of the castle, sending boulders flying at the seemingly tiny guards. Many were crushed, leaving only puddles of blood and burning red ink on the dark path. From there, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Alice turned, her boots skidding across the dirt, and took off. Behind her, the heavy thuds of the Executioner came, along with the sound of land being crushed and the cries of the mangled card guards.

Alice's mind went numb with adrenaline. Her ears rang and her heart pounded as she searched for some option to get out of the creature's way. The Cheshire cat appeared as Alice turned a corner, shrinking and diving into a keyhole.

"All you have to do is call him off. The Queen, and her horribly ugly dominion, are simply a figment of your twisted and damaged mind." Alice heaved a heavy breath before looking at her surroundings. The keyhole had led to a simple hall filled with blood red walls and tentacle pillars. At the end, a light shined, beckoning her towards it. Through the keyhole, the maddening cry of the Executioner rang out, piercing the black-haired girl's sensitive ears. Peeking out, Alice watched as the monster stomped towards her keyhole, only to trip over his own mess and fall into the depths of limbo. Heaving a sigh of relief, Alice continued on down the keyhole, not caring about the consequences of the Executioners unexpected fall...or even if he was truly dead. As she reached the blinding light at the end of the tunnel, Alice expected to be lead into another section of the castle; however, she was utterly surprised to find herself back in the old Mangled Mermaid.

Something was wrong. Shifting around the bed she laid upon, Alice gasped as she gazed down at her once simple and clean dress. A splash of blood was across her chest and the sickening liquid was painted on her arms, dripping onto the dirty covers of the bed. The place was completely silent, even the filthy perverts and whores down stairs didn't make a sound. Gulping, Alice stood, attempting to walk over to the door on the opposite wall. As she tried to walk, she discovered a sharp pain coming from the heel of her left foot. Resorting to limping, Alice finally made it to the door, not knowing if it would be a closet or the hall that she would find. Opening the door, while putting most of her weight on her right foot, Alice let out a terrified cry. From within the depths of the small closet, Nan Sharpe's body was shoved in, damaged and bleeding profusely. A large puddle of blood surrounded her body, and her close were shredded where the obvious knife wounds decorated her large body. Her hair was pulled out of its normally well-put together bun, and her eyes were torn from their sockets. It was obvious this woman had been tortured from the bruises all over her torso and wrists.

Hyperventilating, Alice shook erratically. Lifting her hands up, she gawked down at them before covering her face and pulling herself into a ball.

_What have I done?_

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**If confused or have any questions or comments, please leave a review! :) Hope ya enjoyed!**


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